Dad Jokes

"Honey, go to the store and buy some eggs." "OK." "Oh and while you're there, get some milk." He never returned.

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you're also the murderer at the same time.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

Oysters hate to give away their pearls because they are shellfish.

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother.

"We messed up the keming again guys."

ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI.

Hey Girl, Roses are #ff0000, Violets are #0000ff, I use hex codes, But I'd use RGB for you.

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says "Can't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!" to which the man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings; we only worry about errors."